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ALERT - CAUTION - NOTICE: You might take offense to the following jokes!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM SAUK PRAIRIE WHEN...

1) Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd Was the Theme Song at Your Wedding
2) You Know It's Traditional for the Bride and Groom to Go Bar Hopping Between the Ceremony and the Reception
3) All of Your T-shirts Are from Concerts
4) Bernie Brewer Is Your Idol Because He Gets to Dive in a Giant Beer Mug
5) You or Someone You Know Was a "Dairy Princess" at the Sauk County Fair
6) You Have Gone out of Your Way to Eat Ice Cream at the A&w or Swistyle
7) Country Kitchen in Baraboo Was the Place to Meet after Homecoming/prom
8) You Got Drunk at Rose’s Bar in Sauk City and Couldn't Find Your Car in the Parking Lot out Back
9) You've Been Too Drunk to Shoot Pool at the Spot Bar, but Not to Drunk to Drive Home
10) Hanging out at Ace Hardware in Sauk City on Any Saturday Is Better than Mowing Your Yard
11) You Caught a Fish in Lake Wisconsin and it Glowed in the Dark
12) Any of Your Kids Were Conceived in the Cenex Car Wash
13) You Bought a Case of Beer in from Rislie’s Liquor Store When You Were 16
14) Your Idea of a Traffic Jam Is Ten Cars Waiting to Pass a Tractor on Highway 12
15) You and Your Dad Both Had the Same Homeroom Teacher - Twenty Years Apart
16) Your Teachers Confuse You with Your Brothers, Sisters or Cousins on a Frequent Basis
17) You Started a Barbque Grill with a Welding Torch
18) You Live in a House with Transparent Plastic Sheeting over the Windows
19) Your Other Vehicle Is a Truck with Motorcycle Ramps in It
20) Your Wife Has Ever Asked You to Get Your Dead Fish out of the Bath Tub So She Can Take a Bath

21) Your Soap on a Rope Doubles as an Air Freshener
22) You Refer to the Time You Won a Free Case of Oil as the "Day My Ship Came In"
23) Your Hairdo Has Ever Been Ruined by a Ceiling Fan
24) the Best Way to Keep Things Cold Is to Leave'em in the Shade
25) the Neighbors Started a Petition over Your Christmas Lights
26) You Have to Go to Florida to Get a Tan in August
27) You've Seen All the Biggest Bands Ten Years Before or after They Were Popular
28) Detassling Was Your First Job
29) Your Only Condiment on the Dining Room Table Is the Economy Size Bottle of Ketchup
30) Your Beer Can Collection Is Considered a Tourist Attraction in Sauk County
31) You Call Someone a Wimp Because They Shot a Doe on the Last Day of Deer Season
32) You Have Gotten Frostbitten and Sunburned All in the Same Week
33) Your Style of Dancing Involves Slapping Your Thighs and Pounding Your Feet
34) You Have More Miles on Your Snowblower than Your Car
35) You Owe More Money on Your Snowmobile than on Your Car
36) You Never Need a Family Reunion, You Started Drinking at the Same Bar as Your Family
37) You Refer to the Packers as “We.”
38) Your 4th of July Family Picnic Was Moved Indoors Due to Frost
39) Snow Tires Come Standard on All Your Cars
40) You Know What Cowtipping Is

41) Traveling Coast to Coast Means Going from La Crosse to Milwaukee
42) You Know What a Bubbler Is
43) a Brat Is Something You Eat
44) You Only Know Three Spices: Salt, Pepper, and Ketchup
45) You Design Your Halloween Costumes to Fit over a Snowsuit
46) Your Sexy Lingerie Is Tube Socks and a Flannel Nightshirt
47) You Know That Eau Claire Is Not Something You Eat
48) You Have No Problem Spelling Milwaukee
49) You Consider Eating Gyros in Madison an Exotic Night Out
50) You Don't Have a Coughing Fit from One Sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon
51) You Were Unaware There Is a Legal Drinking Age
52) You Go out for Fish Fry Every Friday
53) You Know What to Do with a Blatz
54) You Can Recognize Someone from Illinois from Their Driving
55) You Know How to Polka - and Enjoy it !
56) You Think the Start of Deer Season Is a National Holiday
57) Your Kitchen Doubles as a Meat Processing Plant Every Fall
58) You Know Where Waukesha Is and Can Pronounce It
59) You've Seen Mosquitoes with Landing Lights
60) You Drink Pop and Bake with Soda

61) Formal Wear Is Blue Jeans & a Baseball Cap
62) Your Snowblower Gets Stuck on the Roof
63) You Find Ten Degrees below Zero “Just a Little Chilly”
64) “Down South” to You Means Indiana
65) Your Definition of a Small Town Is One That Only Has One Bar
66) at Least 50% of Your Relatives Work on a Dairy Farm
67) You Can Identify a Michigan Accent
68) You Learned to Drive a Snowmobile Before the Training Wheels Were off Your Bike
69) Traveling Coast to Coast Means Going from Rice Lake to Beloit
70) the "Big Three" Means Miller, Old Milwaukee & Pabst Blue Ribbon
71) You Used to Think Deer Season Was Included as an Official School Holiday
72) the Snow on Your Roof Weighs More than You Do
73) Your Idea of Creative Landscaping Is a Statue of a Cow next to Your Blue Spruce
74) You Think There Should Be a "Fib Go Home" Bumper Sticker on Every Car North of Janesville
75) a Friday Night out Is Taking Your Girlfriend Bar Hopping
76) You Go to Work in a Snowsuit in the Morning and Return Home Wearing Shorts
77) When You Tell Someone Where You Are from and They Say: "I Thought That Was Part of Canada"
78) Your Idea of the Seasons Is Winter and Road Construction
79) You Think That Lutheran and Catholic Are the Major Religions
80) Every Sweatshirt You Own Is Either Red, White and Black; or Green and Gold

81) You Have Eaten a Cow Pie
82) Cheese Is Hte Second Most Important Staple in Your Diet
83) You Had to Drive Thirty Minutes to the Nearest Movie Theater
84) You Know How to Pronounce "Brat"
85) Sunday Morning at Church Involves Lots of Coffee, Jello Molds and Danish
86) You Were among the Half of the Student Body That Disapeared During Deer Season
87) at Every Wedding You Have Been to You Have Had to Dance the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken Dance
88) You Ever Went to a Wedding Reception in a Bowling Alley
89) You Own at Least One Cheese Head Foam Hat
90) Sunday Afternoons Are Sacred for the Packer Game!
91) You Have Ever Been to State Street in Madison During Halloween and Can't Remember It
92) You Have Been to at Least One House Party on Johnson Street in Madison
93) You Get Irritated at Sports Announcers That Pronounce it "Wesconsin"
94) Your High School Class Went to the Pabst Theater to See "A Christmas Carol"
95) You Thought Everyone Drank from "Bubblers"
96) You Went to the Local Tavern on Friday Night for Fish Fry
97) You Have Experienced Snow Storms in April
98) You Have Had School Closed Due to Wind Chills and Frostbite Warnings
99) You Know What a "Flatlander" Is and You Know All the "Why Wisconsin Is Better than Illinois" Jokes
100) You've gone hoarse screaming "When You Say Wisconsin... You’ve Said it All"

101) You Believe That the Big Ten Is Better than the Sec
102) the Packers Will Always Be Better than the Vikings, Bears, and Lions, No Matter What the Standings Are
103) You Have Been to a "Timbuk Three" or a "Bodeans" Concert
104) You Have Ever Partied at Summerfest, Octoberfest, Festa Italiana, Irish Fest or All of These
105) Driving Is Better in the Winter Because the Potholes Fill in with Snow
106) Your Idea of Sexy Lingerie Is a Pair of Tube Socks and a Flannel Nightie
107) the Most Effective Mosquito Repellent Is a Shotgun
108) the Trunk of You Car Has Been Know to Double as a Deep Freezer
109) You Play Hockey Outdoors 10 Months a Year
110) You Can Make Sense out the Words Upnort and Trivers
111) You Were Offended by the Movie Fargo
112) Your Idea of Foreign Culture Is Listening to Reggae
113) You've Seen a Hodag
114) Your Neighbor Throws a Party to Celebrate His New Machine Shed
115) You Define Swimming Season as Labor Day Weekend
116) You Know Where the City of Waunakee Is - and Can Spell it While in a Drunken Stupor
117) You Have More Fishing Poles than Teeth
118) You've Taken Your Kids Trickortreating in a Blizzard
119) You Know Which Leaves Make Good Toilet Paper
120) You Decided to Have a Picnic this Summer Because it Fell on a Weekend

121) Your Whole Family Wears Green and Gold to Church on Sunday
122) You Can Identify an Illinois Accent
123) You Know Where Oconomowoc Is and Can Pronounce and Spell It
124) Your Coffee Table Used to Be a Telephone Cable Spool
125) You Keep a Can of Raid on the Kitchen Table
126) You've Totaled Every Car You've Ever Owned
127) There Has Ever Been Crime-scene Tape on Your Front Door
128) You Consider a Six-pack and a Bug-zapper High-quality Entertainment
129) Fewer than Half of Your Cars Run
130) You've Ever Been Kicked out of the Oschner Park Zoo in Baraboo for Harassing the Prairie Dogs
131) Your Good Deed for the Month Was Hiding Your Brother In-law for a Few Days
132) You Prominently Display a Ceramic Bust of Elvis Presley You Bought at Graceland
133) You've Ever Worn a Tube Top to a Wedding
134) You've Ever Shot a Deer from the Inside of Your House
135) You Prefer Car Keys to Q-tips
136) Your Christmas Cards Have Are Made out of Recipie Cards
137) You Think That the Styrofoam Cooler Is the Greatest Invention of All Time
138) You've Ever Been Too Drunk to Fish
139) You Had to Remove a Toothpick for Wedding Pictures
140) You Have to Go Outside to Get Something out of the Fridge

141) Your Richest Relative Buys a New House and You Have to Help Take the Wheels off It
142) Your Dog and Your Wallet Are Both on Chains
143) You Have Lost at Least One Tooth Opening a Beer Bottle
144) Your House Doesn't Have Curtains, but Your Truck Does
145) You Can Amuse Yourself for More
146) than an Hour with a Fly Swatter
147) You Have a House That's Mobile and Five Cars That Aren't
148) Your “Huntin Dog” Costs More than the Truck You Drive Him Around In
149) Your Belt Buckle Weighs More than Three Pounds
150) You Own More Sneakers than Dress Shoes
151) the Tobacco Chewers in Your Family Aren't Just Men
152) Your Wheelbarrow Breaks and it Takes Four Relatives to Figure out How to Fix It
153) the Dog Catcher Calls for a Backup Unit When He Visits Your House
154) Snow Tires Are Standard on Golf Cart
155) You "Go into Town"
156) You Have No Concept of Public Transportation
157) You Wear Shorts When It's 50 Degrees out in March, but Bundle up and Complain in August When it Goes below 60 Degrees
158) You Have Gone Trick-or-treating in 2 Feet of Snow
159) Almost Going to “State” Was this Biggest Thing in Your Life
160) You Measure Distance in Minutes

161) the Nearest Shopping Mall Is at Least 90 Minutes Away
162) You Know Several People Who Have Hit a Deer
163) You've Ridden the School Bus for an Hour Each Way
164) You Know What's Knee-high by the Fourth of July
165) You See People Wear Bib Overalls at Funerals
166) Getting a Package from the Post Office Requires a Full Tank of Gas in the Truck
167) You've Ever Hit a Deer with Your Car - Deliberately
168) You're a Lite Beer Drinker, Because You Start Drinking When it Gets Light
169) Taking Your Wife on a Cruise Means Circling the Dairy Queen
170) You Bring Your Dog to Work with You
171) Your Favorite Hunting Dog Has a Bigger Tombstone than Your Grandfather
172) an Expired License Plate Means Another Decoration for Your Living Room Wall
173) Your Secret Family Recipe Is Illegal
174) Your Sophisticated Show-biz Cousin Is a Clown at the Circus World Museum in Baraboo
175) Your Pocketknife Has Ever Been Referred to as Exhibit A
176) People Hear Your Car Long Before They See It
177) You List Your Parole Officer as a Reference
178) There Are More Dishes in Your Sink than in Your Cabinets
179) You've Ever Stood in Line to Get Your Picture Taken with a Freak of Nature
180) You Watch Cartoons Long after Your Kids Get Bored

181) You Think You Are an Entrepreneur Because of the "Dirt for Sale" Sign in the Front Yard
182) You Ever Bought Saddlebags for Your Motorcycle So You Can Carry More Beer
183) Ever Had Your Girlfriend Follow You to the Party with the Car So You Can Take More Beer
184) Your Best Shoes Have Steel Toes
185) You Quit Your Job to Go to the Indy 500
186) You Have Car or Motorcycle Parts in the Dishwasher
187) Sturgis Is Your Dream Vacation
188) You Carry Around a Crushed Beer Can in the Case of Soft Tar When You Park the Bike
189) You Know from Painful Experiance Why You Dont Carry Your Wallet in Your Back Pocket
190) You Pull Your Bike into the Motel Room & Use a Bath Towel to Wipe it Off
191) Your Girl Friend Has to Climb over the Bike to Do the Laundry in the Basement
192) You Think God Invented Winter So You Can Get the Bike Ready for Daytona
193) Your Three Piece Suit Are Chaps, Leather Vest & a Leather Jacket
194) You Have a Refrigerator in Your Garage Just for Beer
195) You Think Tequilia Is a Sex Aide
196) Your Garage Has More Square Footage than Your House
197) All Your Ashtrays Are Pistons from Your Last Engine Rebuild
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